After a break-up, it’s normal to want to hide from the world, to wait until the pain goes away. We all handle it differently – maybe you curl up on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or a bottle of wine, or maybe you lose yourself in work. Whatever the case, it’s easier to avoid the pain, to try and forget what happened. Break-ups are one of the most difficult emotional experiences to endure, especially when you’ve been together a long time.

Friends are a wonderful support network after a break-up. But it’s good to know whether certain friends will prefer to wallow in anger with you as opposed to helping you move on. Positive energy is contagious, and it does more than anything else to lift your spirits. Spend time with those friends or acquaintances who inspire or uplift you. It will make a big difference in your healing process. There’s nothing that lifts you out of depression like a good challenge and mixing up your routine.

Break-ups give us an opportunity, too. They can help us become more of who we are meant to be. They can help rid us of our old habits and routines – the ones that weren’t serving us. They can help us see the world in a new light. Perhaps the one thing we neglect the most in the aftermath of a break-up is treating ourselves with kindness. Instead, we blame our exes or ourselves for what went wrong, wallowing in anger instead of reassuring ourselves that no matter what we will be okay.

Maybe it’s hard to understand this when you’re in the midst of grief, but break-ups are a doorway into a new, better future. This is probably the hardest thing to do in the midst of a break-up, because it’s easier to dwell on the negatives when your world has been altered. Be grateful for what you have in your life – whether it’s a beautiful painting that hangs on your wall or the fact that you can call your sister in the middle of the night. These things matter, and help you keep perspective.